What is a good relationship?
A good relationship means:
- trusting each other
- being able to take things at your own pace
- talking to each other
- being open and honest
- respecting each other’s opinions
- making each other feel heard
- being a good friend to each other
- giving each other the freedom to do things that you each want to do including spending time with the people you want
- sharing interests so you can have fun together
- allowing each other to have space and have your own interests
- accepting each other for who you are
- celebrating each others differences and not making you feel you need to change;
Most importantly you should feel safe, secure and happy.
What is a bad relationship?
This is probably the opposite to the above and could include some or all of the things below.
Your partner:
- gets angry or jealous when you talk to other people
- embarrasses you in front of others
- teases and puts you down
- always blames you
- makes you do things you don’t want to
- stops you seeing your friends or family
- is verbally aggressive or threatens to hurt you
- bullies you and makes you feel bad
- blackmails you or threatens you
- hurts you, your friends, family, pets or property
- posts horrible things about you online or sends private pictures of you to others.
- makes you feel afraid
- hits you
If any of the above is happening to you, remember that it’s not your fault. You need to talk to someone about it because it’s not right.
Where can I get advice?
There are people and helplines you can talk to confidentially – either about a bad relationship you or a friend are in or if you are worried about your own behaviour.
You don’t have to be living with someone for the relationship to be abusive. Abuse can happen in a relationship between a man and a woman, between two men, or between two women and can even happen between friends It doesn’t have to be physical abuse for it to be domestic abuse – it might be emotional abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, or psychological abuse. This is never OK and you don’t have to suffer alone.
The BAVA website has lots more information about abusive relationships and local services that can help.
Counselling Directory is a confidential service that encourages those in need to seek help. People can visit their website, enter their postcode and find a qualified counsellor or psychotherapist nearby who specialises in the area of need. The site also serves as an information hub for people to read mental health-related articles and news, as well as to find local events.
Refuge offer dedicated support for young people in abusive relationships.
A film about relationships was created as part of the ‘What Would You Do?’ 2017 programme, a successful and creative intervention project based in schools to help reduce crime across Bristol communities
Brook also have some helpful information about relationships.