Feeling under pressure? Not sure you really want to be doing any of these things? Don’t worry, this is really common. Just remember that it’s your body and your choice when and where it happens. It can be fun and exciting, but only when it’s a positive choice for you.
Turning each other on
When you go all the way with the right person it can be amazing, but there are lots of other things you might want to do before you’re ready for oral or penetrative sex.
You might want to use foreplay in the lead up to sex or just instead of sex.
Remember, you shouldn’t feel pressured into any sexual activity whether it’s foreplay or full sex.
Talking
Talking to your partner and telling them you like or love them is a really important part of a trusting, safe relationship.
It’s important to talk to each other about being intimate too. How are you going to know what each other likes or hates without talking? If you are open and honest with each other you can set boundaries and decide when you are both ready for the next step.
Kissing
Kissing can be a turn on and you can do this for as long as you like. Kissing doesn’t always have to end with sex.
You might also want to kiss your partner on their neck or back. Normally where someone likes to be touched, they’ll also like to be kissed.
Touching
Touching, stroking and caressing all feel nice and there are parts of the body that make you feel turned on when they’re stroked.
Most people enjoy being touched on wrists, the inner arm, behind the knees and even on their feet! Going for the obvious places straight away can be a turn off; it’s much nicer to be teased!
Massage
Massages can be really relaxing and a great way to get to know each other’s bodies. They can also be amazingly sexy. Getting used to being naked with each other is also intimate and can help build trust between you, although you can also massage without being completely naked.
Sensations
Thinking about your senses is a really imaginative way to start thinking about getting close. What smells do you like? What do you like to see? What sounds help you relax? What do you like to touch? What tastes good? Enhancing the senses can really increase the pleasure for both of you.
Making the room romantic, think about colours and lighting. What music do you both like and might make you both feel relaxed? A classic we see in the movies is feeding each other food blindfolded, try something like strawberries. Sensations on the skin can also be nice like stroking with a feather or an ice cube.