Sex Online and Porn

Let’s be honest. It can feel loads easier chatting to guys and girls on Snapchat or messenger.  Talking face to face can be pretty nerve wracking.

Just make sure you know who you are chatting to.  Someone who says they are a ‘hot 17 year old from Bristol’ might actually be a 50 year old person looking to take advantage of you. And even if you do know them, there are still some things you need to think about:

• Never agree to meet someone on your own – especially if you have never met them before because they might not be who you thought they were.
• Don’t share intimate pictures of yourself – Anything you put online could possibly be seen by anyone, so only share things you wouldn’t mind anyone seeing. Once you’ve shared a photo, you’ve lost control of it and it could spread over the internet in seconds.
• Make sure you know all the facts about keeping safe online – There’s a really good website that’s worth checking out where you can watch films and get more advice: thinkuknow

If you’re at all worried or unsure then tell an adult or report problems advice on how to do this can be found here.

You can take photos or shoot a video anywhere and share them online in no time. Photos and videos can be a great way to show your friends what you’re up to.

But remember, it can be really hard, sometimes impossible, to delete pictures or videos from the internet or other people’s mobiles. Once you’ve shared something online or on your mobile you’ve lost control of it – it can be copied, shared and even edited!

If you send an embarrassing picture or video to a friend it could end up anywhere. If you post it online anyone could see it, including your parents, teachers or future employers!

Thinkuknow has a really good page on safe sharing of pictures and videos.

Want to post a funny photo? Ask yourself these 5 questions first:

1. Have I got permission?  If you’ve taken a picture or video of your friends or family have you got their permission to post it online? Could it upset or embarrass them? If you were them, would you want it shared? If you think the answer might be no, then go and ask them or don’t post it at all.
2. Would I put it on a billboard?  Would you be happy for the picture to be put on a billboard so anyone – including your mum, dad or your teacher – could see it? If the answer’s no, then don’t post it.
3. Who am I sharing with?  Are you sending it to a friend, someone you met online or posting it for everyone to see? Remember, if you’ve only met someone online they might not be who they say they are. They could copy, edit or share your picture with anyone.
4. What do I look like?  Photos and videos are a great way of sharing what you’re up to with your friends but, remember, anything you post online could be there forever. We all do silly things sometimes but if we capture them on camera they can affect the way people think about us in the future. If you’re not sure they paint a positive picture of you (or your friends!) then think twice before posting.
5. Is it legal?  Taking and sharing naked or ‘sexy’ pictures or videos of people under 18 is illegal, even if you’re taking them of yourself. The law is there to protect you from adults who make these pictures but sharing them of yourself can be really unsafe. You also shouldn’t share naked or ‘sexy’ pictures of other young people – this is illegal and can cause them very serious problems.

People taking part in most pornography are paid actors and they are doing things to entertain the people watching it. Some of the things that happen aren’t really common in every day sex, but watching lots of porn can make people believe they are.

The actors in porn often look a certain way and certainly don’t look like the people we see everyday. Women often have big breasts, perfect nails, long hair and no hair in their pubic area. The men normally have big muscles, a six pack and a bigger than average penis. This is because it’s for entertainment and doesn’t reflect real life. Porn often shows racial and body stereotypes.

Stuff shown in porn can be very negative and does not give out good messages about equality. Often in extreme porn there can be violence or people are forced to do things. This isn’t what should happen in a normal relationship.

Porn doesn’t usually show couples having a conversations about what they like or don’t like.  In real life, in a positive relationship, having this discussion is a very important part of intimacy. It is important that two people can talk about having safer sex and that a person can say no. Females may need longer to become aroused and will need some foreplay before they are ready to have sex. This side is rarely shown in porn.

You don’t normally see condoms in porn either, or in fact any conversations about unplanned pregnancy or infections. Again, this is because it isn’t real life.

Making porn films is big business. Many people – lesbian, gay and straight – take part. For many of them it is not a nice experience and some might have been exploited or badly treated.